Thursday, February 19, 2009

Nom nom nom....

Read More HERE.

THE FACTS: This photograph was taken of a Worcester's buttonquail (a bird thought to be extinct) in the Philippines last month. The picture was taken just before the bird was sold to a local resident... and eaten.

JUDGMENT: I wonder what kind of a price is tacked onto the last bird of a species? This is how I picture this scenario going down in my head.

Waiter: "What can I get for you today, sir?"
Diner: "I'll just have a hamburger, well-done. Hold the ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoe."
Waiter: "Oh you didn't let me tell you today's special."
Diner: "Oh what's that?"
Waiter: "Well we are offering a one time special. It's the last known-to-man Worcester's buttonquail served with rice pilaf and a roasted red potatoes."
Diner: "Ummmm, sure I'll take that."
Waiter: "Well, sir, how was the quail?"
Diner: "Tasted like chicken."

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Thunderheist "Jerk It"

THE FACTS: Thunderheist is a popular new musical duo on the internets. They issued and challenge to their fans to make a music video for their song "Jerk It." This is the winner.

JUDGMENT: I can't stop listening to this song. I'm even thinking about buying a chicken so I can have a dancing buddy. As far as the video goes, it could have done without the close-ups of that girl's face and.....I WANT MORE CHICKEN!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

And the Winner Is...

THE FACTS: A 10 year old sussex spaniel named Stump won Best in Show at the 2009 Westminster Dog Show. Stump has a lazy eye

JUDGMENT: This dog looks like Paris Hilton. How in the hell did this decrepid dog win the most reknowned title in the dogging world? LOOK AT HIS EYE, it is sooo droopy. I would have thrown him out instantly (unless he was wearing an eye patch.)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Stamp Prices to Increase by Two Cents

Read the article HERE.

THE FACTS: Starting in May, the price of a stamp will increase to 44 cents. Starting when we graduate, the number of jobs will increase to 0.

JUDGMENT: What's a stamp?

For All We Call, Mizzou.

THE FACTS: This morning on the fifth flight of stairs in the Hitt Street Parking garage I stumbled upon a dead pigeon. The pigeon was decapitated. The head...missing.

JUDGMENT: I was unaware that Ozzy was coming to campus. I almost threw up as I was coming down the stairs this morning and stumbled upon my new friend. I bet it was some twisted sorority prank gone awry (Those Phi Moos will eat anything.) Who does one contact to remove the massive carcass of a headless pigeon?!?!?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Solving the Economic Crisis

THE FACTS: Our nation is in a recession. I'm not.

JUDGMENT: Jim should have stuck with Karen. She was WAY hotter. Obama should have ended his press conference like Natalie and Rashida. PUPPIES!!!!!

Finger-Painting with Robyn

Check out the video below:

Robyn "Cobrastyle"

THE FACTS: Cobrastyle was #61 on Billboard's Top 100 Songs of 2008. Finger-paints, while non-toxic, should not be consumed.

JUDGMENT: Has she lost all of her baby teeth yet? Even though she looks like a 12 year old punk Mormon, Robyn makes me jealous that I wasn't able to take part in this music video shoot. I've listened to this song on repeat for a 6 hr consecutive loop...sadly, I'm not exaggerating.